Mike and Sara Farmer Family: Funny Kid

Funny Kid
Originally uploaded by Sara Farmer.

Abbie uses her ever nimble tongue in a new way.

Farmer Family Funnies

Nathan: The pattern is going to be an ABB..
Andrew: IE?

Andrew: Mom, what are you doing?
Mom: I'm making dinner Buddy.
Andrew: Oh. It doesn't look like dinner.

"Mom! Please fix my leg sleeves!"--Andrew when the cuffs on his pajama pants had crawled up to his knees.

"Mom, why are you dusting your face?" --Andrew while observing Mom's morning routine.

During a discussion of fun places to visit/vacation:
Abbie: I want to go to Florida!
Nathan: I want to go to Disneyland!
Andrew: I want to go to the Home Depot!

Mom: Andrew, can you help me find Livvy's shoes?
Andrew: Why Mom? It'll be much easier to find her feet!

"Oh, no! My tooth has a gravity!" --Nathan, concerned that his missing tooth had too much decay.

"..October, November and December! These are the months of my EAR!" --Andrew, reciting the months of the year song.

Andrew: Mom, I'm lucky!
Mom: Why are you lucky?
Andrew: Because I am so handsome! And you are lucky, too.
Mom: Why am I lucky?
Andrew: Because you are cute!

Dad, don't give me too much. I don't want to get an allergy!" --Andrew being concerned about his portion sizes at breakfast.

Mom: Andrew, what are you going to say to Sis. Blundell (his Nursery teacher) tomorrow?
Andrew: You are holding my hand Chuck! You sly dog! (quoting Charlie Brown Thanksgiving)

Andrew: Mom, is it Christmas yet?
Mom: No, buddy not for a little while yet.
Andrew: Like until Abbie gets home? (from school) Then I can be a Sunbeam?

"Mom! Tickle me. I want to laugh." --Andrew

"Didn't you buy any chocolate squash?"-- Andrew being concerned for his sister's nutritional needs after reviewing the newly purchased baby food

" And the Nephites went and went until they came to Neverland!" --Andrew during his turn at scripture reading.

"I don't want to have a rest. I'll do laundry." --Andrew, trying to get out of his afternoon nap

"The batteries died." --Andrew, after Olivia's first experience in the jumper failed to produce the results he wanted.

"Mom, I am doing it! You go do laundry." --Andrew, after insisting that he didn't need any help.

"Look Mom! I am unsetting the table." --Nathan as he was helping clean up after dinner.

"I am really strong, but I can't see a thing!" --Nathan, as he is carrying a very large load of sheets to the laundry room

"I could really go for something bubbly right now. Hmmm..., but I'll settle for pickle juice." --Dad, after looking in our sad depleted fridge.

Mom: Andrew, you are in charge of the scripture for Family Home Evening. Do you know any great scriptures?
Andrew: Aye, aye Captain!

Mom: Andrew, what do you want to have for dinner?
Andrew: Some!

"Bless you, myself!" --Nathan, after a cluster of sneezes

Mom: Michael, I need your help.
Andrew: Why 'd you say Michael? He's Daddy!

"I am having a nap, and it's not over!" --Nathan one morning that came a little too early

Nathan: Can we teach Olivia to walk today?
Mom: She won't be big enough until around Christmas.
Nathan: Let's have Christmas now. There is snow outside, and I know what I want!

"Mom, will you give me the recipe for this dinner so I can make it when I am a mom?" --Abbie on one of the rare occasions that she liked what was for dinner

"Mom, this is the last day you have to have those hurting subtractions!" --Abbie, as Mom leaves for the hospital for Olivia's birthday party

Nathan: Where is Abbie?
Mom: She's at school
Nathan: Why does she go to school?
Mom: To get really smart
Nathan: Why doesn't she just play on the computer?

Helping Nathan remember about watching General Conference and Pres. Monson:
Dad: Nathan, what did we watch last Saturday and Sunday on
TV when we stayed home and didn't go to church?
Nathan: Football!

"This dinner is delicious. It doesn't have any corn, or carrots or beans in it!" --Nathan (we did have peas, though :-)

"Mom, I got an bonk on my fourth head!" --Nathan, pointing to his forehead.

"I am so looking forward to second grade!" -- Abbie after the second of week of first grade is barely behind her.

"Mom, my alarm clock is so loud that when it goes off it wakes me up when I am sleeping!" --Abbie, trying to adjust to the new school schedule

"Buffalo are 1500 square feet of dangerous!"--Abbie on our way to Yellowstone.

While discussing miracles for our scripture journals during FHE:
Dad: What are some miracles we have seen in our family?
Nathan: A new baby sister!
--yes, Nathan that would be a miracle :-)

Nathan: Mom, is this Wednesday?
Mom: No, it's Friday!
Nathan: What do we do on Fridays?
Mom: Today we get to do chores.
Nathan: Oh, can't we just have Wednesday?

Lunch can't be over. I didn't get any nectarine. Please, Mom! I just need something teeny tiny from a food group--like dessert. ---Nathan

Dad: Abbie, don't pick your nose. Why are you picking your nose?
Abbie: Cause there is stuff in it.

"I don't want that swimming suit. It's not honest." --Abbie while shopping for a modest swimming suit

Mom: Nathan, want to help me make your birthday pizza?
Nathan: Umm, no. I am not the mom.

"I want a popcorn tree so I can eat all that popcorn that will grow." --Abbie while we were discussing what types of trees we could acquire for the yard.

"Ah ha! The tissues- I found them. Now I get bonus points!"--Nathan even though no bonus points were offered for the tissues

"Let's see. I've had a lot of the food groups except vegetables, but let's just skip over that and go right to the sugar group." --Abbie

"Mom! I combed my hair. I even used a comb!" --Nathan, learning to do things all by himself.

"I can't! I'm only five. I don't know how to do stuff!" --Abbie, in response to Dad's insistence that she pump herself on the swings.

Nathan: I can't do go to the bathroom. I'm too little of a boy.
Mom: Oh, if you are a little boy, you can't play on the computer.
Nathan: I think I am growing and growing! Now I am a big boy.

"But I CAN'T sleep. There is no energy in me."--Nathan

"Look, Mom! A fortissimo French Fry!"--Nathan with all the excitement his cute self could muster.

"6, 0, 7. That spells sleep." Nathan, reading the clock after getting out of bed too early

Abbie: What's my name?
Dad: Abigail
Abbie: What's my nickname?
Dad: Abbie
Abbie: So, what's my user name?

Mom: Nathan, we need to wash your face.
Nathan: OK, but I don't need a washcloth; I can just use my tongue.
Mom: No, we need to use a washcloth.
Nathan: But my tongue works great and it doesn't need batteries!

"It's perfect!! What is it?" --Nathan, after opening his first Christmas gift of pajamas

Mom: Abbie, what should we do for Family Home Evening?
Abbie: We should learn how to obey.
Mom: Oh, do you need help remembering to obey?
Abbie: No, it's for Nathan. He's so young.

Mom: Nathan are you coming to Thanksgiving dinner to see Grandma, Grandpa and Grandpa-Great?
Nathan: Sure. Let's have pancakes.
Mom: No, we'll be having turkey.
Nathan: So can we have plates so we can cut the food?

Trying to explain to Abbie why she wakes up at 7 a.m. even on Saturdays and Sundays:
Dad: Your brain is trained to wake up at the same time every morning--school days and the weekend.
Abbie: So my brain doesn't know what day it is?

Mom: Nathan, we need to turn around your pants. They are on backwards.
Nathan: But Mom! I did turn around. (after spinning around three times)

Mom: Nathan, what should we get Andrew for his birthday?
Nathan: Why cymbals of course!

"But Mom! I was just so curious!" ---Abbie, trying to explain why she was playing with a towel in a sink full of soapy water and making a very large mess.

"Mom, I am so glad to have you." --my Nathan

"Mom, this is how you use your computer. You just push these buttons and the letters come out."--my helpful Nathan

Abbie: Mom, 8 and 8 is 16!
Mom: That's right, Abbie. How did you figure that out?
Abbie: By counting the squares on the bathroom floor!

"It sure is hard to take care of three kids with only two grownups!" --Abbie, after a particularly hard morning getting ready for church.

"Mom, I got my backpack ready for kindergarten because I don't want to be late so all my supplies are packed so I'll be ready for kindergarten." ---Abbie, three weeks before the first day of school.

"Mom! My pants are on the wrong feet!" --Nathan, after putting both legs in the same pant leg of his pjs

"Oh, uh... Hi Mom! I'll stop jumping on your bed now." --Nathan, trying to look innocent as Mom unexpectedly enters the room

While Abbie and Nathan were cleaning their room--
Nathan: Abbie, do you need help?
Abbie: No. I know what I am doing. I've been doing this for five years!

M0m: Nathan, it's time to go to the potty.
Nathan: No thanks. I went yesterday.

"Look, Mom! You have a birthday candle on your finger!" ---Nathan, as he was playing with Mom's wedding ring

"Mom, I have a hard life. How about you?" ---Abbie

"Just say 'Amen!' I am hungry!"-- Nathan, as we were preparing for the dinner prayer

"OK, Handsome (aka Mom). When the clock gets to the top, it'll be time for you to put on your pajamas." ---- Nathan, at ten minutes to noon.

Mom: Nathan, after your rest we can go to the store and buy a you a new tie for Easter.
Nathan: Ah, no. I don't want a tie. I want a bike! Let's get a bike.

"It's for moms. It's beautiful. I love it. Now let's get outta here!" --Nathan, after shopping with Mom and Andrew for all of ten minutes.

While Daddy was away counting the tithing:
Mom: Nathan, where's Daddy?
Nathan: At church
Mom: What's Daddy doing at church?
Nathan: Mmmm, playing with kids.

Mom: Abbie, why don't we get you a haircut?
Abbie: No, No, No! It'll just fall out on its own!

"Mom, the planet is really mad at you!"--Abbie, after Mom left the light on in the bedroom (she's recently gone green)

Abbie: Mom, how do you know if something is alive?
Mom: If it can do things like walk and talk
Abbie: And juggle?

"Look Mom! It's Rainbow the Snowdeer!" --Abbie (meaning Rudolph the Reindeer)

"No, I want the yucky sauce!"-- Nathan, while getting his hair combed

"How firm a Dalmation!" --Abbie singing her new favorite hymn, see also Hymns #85

While setting up the baby monitor--
Abbie: Mom, what is that?
Mom: It's called a baby monitor. We use it so we can hear Andrew if he needs our help.
Abbie: So are there Daddy monitors?

After Abbie is especially helpful and kind to Nathan:
Mom: Abbie, thanks for helping Nathan so nicely. That makes Mom, and Heavenly Father and Jesus happy when you are a good sister and help Nathan.
Abbie, pointing and looking up to the ceiling: I don't see any smiles up there!

Abbie: Mom, why is that barn right there?
Mom: Someone needed a barn so they made one
Abbie: Yep, when Heavenly Father made the world I guess He needed a barn there so there it is!

"Having a working brain really comes in handy sometimes." --Narrator, Curious George

While watching college football:
Abbie: Go Cougars!
Mom: These aren't the Cougars, Abbie.
Abbie: So are they the Heffalumps?

"Mom, I fell down and got some damage so I'd better go to the hospital." --- Abbie

"Hi, Handsome! Your hair is cute!" -- Nathan to Mom just minutes after she stepped out of the shower

"Look Mom! I have my finger in my nose!"--Nathan, unfortunately, this statement was an accurate description of his actions

"Thank you. Thank you very much!"--Nathan after singing a Wiggles song in the van

Mom: Abbie, you can have two cookies.
Abbie: But two and two make four, and I am four so I should have four cookies!

"Hi Handsome!"--Nathan, whenever Mom c0mes into the room

Abbie: Mom, how many sleeps until the new baby comes?
Mom: About 90
Abbie: OK. Let's count those by tens!

"Mom, I made the Eiffel Tower of Pisa!"-- Abbie, after making a great, although probably not that landmark-worthy, block tower

"Nathan! Calm Down! That means have patience!"-- Abbie

"Thanks, Dad. You are a great helper. You must be getting closer and closer to growing up. " ---Abbie, after Daddy helped her get lunch ready

After seeing a half-clothed half-mannequin at the store:
Abbie: Mom, look at her.
Mom: I know. She needs sleeves.
Abbie: I think she needs a neck.....and maybe some arms.

Abbie: Dad, are you going to school tomorrow?
Dad: Yes.
Abbie: Sorry Daddy. I guess you'll never be a prince because princes have to stay with their princess!!

"Daddy, you are strange. (small pause) Really, really strange. " ---Abbie

"Aren't I just adorable?" --- Abbie, admiring her reflection in the mirror

"This isn't yucky. It's peas!" --- Abbie after finally agreeing to at least try her dinner

"Look, it's a treatcicle!"-- Abbie, after placing her dough nut hole on a fork

"Nathan, may I have this dance?" --Abbie

"I am so excited to go to Primary. Are you excited to go to Primary? We have to hurry because Primary is almost over!" --Abbie, immediately following the amen for the closing prayer in sacrament meeting.

"Mom, you are a genius!" --Abbie

"Hey, I didn't get a pretty white dress or get married!" Abbie, as we were leaving the temple open house

"Mom, I can't sleep. It's too hard of work." ---Abbie, once again getting creative in her reasons for not sleeping

"Here we go again!" --Abbie on her way to the bathroom

"Oh, no! I am missing it!"--Abbie, concerned that the music she heard coming from the other ward's singing time was her Primary class

"I need someone big to help me move my thing. Hey Dad! You are big; YOU can help me!" --Abbie

"Sorry about that." --Abbie, after wiping away the tears from her reaction to a small setback

Mike and Sara Farmer Family

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Funny Kid

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